it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need a beard to bite.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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