Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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