Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
