My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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