One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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