cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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