I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Where are you guys?
Drunk
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
