Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
