Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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