Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hippo gnu deer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
