So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
