Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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