is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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