I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
my being single is dangerous.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
