"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
