last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
