I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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