My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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