with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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