His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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