hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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