Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
