I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
