Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
40s are totally the cure
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
