dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
