you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
