I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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