Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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