man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
