I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
