I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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