She's JV to your varsity
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We have started to decorate penises.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
