His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
