just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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