just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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