i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
