Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
