Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
