My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
