he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
