its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
