i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize