So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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