please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
