When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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