I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
