Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
