We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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