Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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