Plan B is the new Plan A
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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