so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dick very happy bro
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
