omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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