non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize