The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
