How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
