I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
