At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
