If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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