It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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