So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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