I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
