My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize