Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
