So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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