he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
